quinta-feira, 10 de março de 2011

Autopsy (for Medusa)

Bring me the tools, go away, slam the door...
I'll perform my own surgery, I'll make my own autopsy.
Athena's gone, Apollo's gone, Aphrodite's gone, Minerva's gone... I was left with Medusa in a moist dark small room. There is no Olympus left for us. Only underworlds. Underground. For we swear profanity. We vomit blasphemy. Small metal gods, cheap souvenirs. I've abandoned you. I now lie with mortals, sleep with undead.
There shall be no love for us to share, there shall be no love in us to bear. Only disparity. Despair.
Now I've ripped my ears out not to listen to her screams, now I've plucked my eyes off not to look at her face, now i've craved my nails in my face not to feel her breath. Senseless, motionless. My autopsy was delayed. I'm terrified of a delicate monster. Scared to death for my autopsy was delayed... My heart's still inside me although my chest wide open, venomous black entrails.
I've seen it all, more than tongue can tell. I've seen it all and never anything like this.
No ballast in words, no clappers for beggars, no route. Chaos reigns for you've defined no territory! I've made chaos my territory!
No windows, no doors, no walls, no furniture. The vagabond is me. The beggar. The free. Stuck in space. But free. Chest open. Begging for autopsy.
Bring the doors back. Medusa! Kiss me, come, come for me. Take my heart out, the black sponge you've made stone. Bang it against my jaws, crack my mouth, break my teeth, let me bleed, cut my tongue, I still feel it! I've swallowed my teeth, push my heart in, pull my heart out! I still feel it! I still feel pain! Peel my skin, rip my nerves! I did it all with my rusty nails. I've seen it all, nothing changed...
My orbits are now flooding tears, and it still burns! Is my heart already out? What's the diagnosis?
No more painkillers, system is fraught.

To be honest, I can't really feel a thing.

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